Friday, 18 September 2009

Newsflash (cheerful Dent)


Some better news – I may actually get some of the inheritance money that I first heard about back in March in the next week or so. It isn’t a fortune – I won’t be buying a house with it, even if I were able to move to the cheapest part of the country! – but it is enough to make me feel rather cheerful this afternoon, and inclined to buy a bottle of wine and some chocolates for myself on the way home tonight. And as I’m now going to a picnic on Sunday I may bake something nice and bring something with bubbles in along to that, too. I wonder if one can make chocolate bobóta? I’ll have a look at the recipe and see if I can tweak it…

Girls only read this, I think!...

Normal service has been resumed.

It’s one of those things I don’t think a man will ever quite be able to understand; the intensity of the relief when you see that bit of red spotting... I guess learning that “Oh thank god, she’s not pregnant, panic over” is probably a pretty powerful life moment for some guys, in some situations, and “Oh no, she’s not pregnant, again - what’s wrong with us?” must be the sad thought of some other guys whose lives are in a different situation. But I can’t help thinking it’s another experience altogether for girls. Is that sexist of me, I wonder?

At any rate, I am now once again certain that I am not pregnant – even more certain than I was already, which means very certain indeed! I’ll need to go to the doctor if this happens again, since if running two weeks late shows signs of being a regular (irregular) event it may mean premature menopause (aargh) or something wrong with my ovaries (been there, done that; oh heck, not again)…

Hormones – who’d have them?

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Corydalis everywhere, and the undead



This lovely little plant is Corydalis lutea; it grows not just everywhere but absolutely anywhere. It grows in walls, in dust, in drains. I'm very fond of it, which is a good thing as my bit of garden in Turnham Green is full of it. Sadly not even the good old Plants for a Future database can suggest any uses for it, and they think Datura is useful (albeit with some serious provisos regarding its toxicity, hallucinogenic properties, etc).

And as for the undead: I treated myself to two "soothing and relaxing" cds at the weekend; "Sounds of the rainforest", which really is soothing; and "Sounds of the British Coastline", which is lovely for about three quarters of the time, but has several tracks that are just a little strange: for example

Track 5; Kittiwake colony. Sounds like several thousand of the Virgin Mandy all shrieking "He's not the Messiah!" at full volume.

Track 11; Manx shearwaters coming in to roost. Or possibly a symposium of asthmatic flying chain smokers.

And, best of all

Track 9; Grey seals at night. Do you know that line that comes up in the Bible at intervals, about being "cast into the outer darkness where there is wailing and knashing of teeth"? That's a grey seal colony for you. Their vocalisations are truly ghastly - I now have a mental picture of terrified sailors coming round the coast of East Anglia after dark, hearing to what sounds like the Undead in full cry off the starboard bow, and steering out into the wilds of a North Sea storm to escape.

Isn't nature wonderful...

Friday, 11 September 2009

Five o'clock approaches...


...and I start to feel more human.

Not fully human, as yet - it'll take a little shift in the hormonal levels to do that - but more like a sane adult who's had a bafflingly rough week, and less like The Scream personified (I can only find it with Homer, sadly, not Lisa).

And all gloomy thoughts aside, I'm quite sure I can fit in a baking session and some writing, and possibly a trip to the Wetland Centre. Don't know if I can rustle up a party tonight, working from scratch, with no guests and no budget, though... But ah, I have a bottle of cheap Sauvignon Blanc in the bottom of the wardrobe, so all is not lost. I will sit in the wardrobe and drink my sorrows dry.

Coming to the end of an odd week...

I'm eating my way through a packet of clotted cream fudge so calorific you could practically run a car off it, trying to beat the "Oh gods, can I cope?" feeling. Thank God It's Friday.

It's been an odd week. The weather has turned autumnal, the visitor numbers at Kew have plunged, the enquiries are getting odder again as if in preparation for winter, a helicopter is circling over Kew Green endlessly (represses urge to yell "F**k off!" out of window) and my period is late. VERY late.

I can't be pregnant. If I were pregnant, the child would have started school by now, if you see what I mean. But this means I have a f**king helicopter going round and round over my head and I am pre-menstrual as bejayzuz and I have to find civil and courteous ways to write back to the people making odd requests and enquiries. >sigh<

As I said, TGIF. With knobs on.

1. What I want to do this weekend:
Go to a party and have a great evening chatting to interesting people, drinking nice wine and eating too much.
Go to the Wetland Centre and see lovely migratory birds, and sketch and paint.
Do lots of writing.
Bake homemade bread rolls and a chocolate cake.

2. What I probably will do this weekend:
Do grocery shopping.
Pay bills.
Do my income tax return.
Hoover.
Tidy up the garden.

But I intend to cram at least one of list 1 into list 2, even if it takes me all weekend to do it. Take care out there!

Thursday, 10 September 2009

A lunchtime walk...



I really am very lucky in where I work. I could be in an office in the middle of the City with nothing around me but miles of glass and steel and tarmac. Instead I can walk out into a huge and beautiful, and superbly tended, garden. I can stroll in the autumn sun, or sit under a eucalyptus, inhaling that delicious, honey-and-medicine scent, and watching the wagtails feeding, and dragonflies darting over the lily pool outside the Jodrell Laboratory.

The Gardens are full of autumn-flowering cyclamen. Everywhere you look, there they are, delicate and bright, isolated clumps appearing unheralded, or broad banks of them spreading under trees. There are colchicums all over, too; big blowsy waterlily-type doubles and slender old-fashioned single ones in clear pink and white. There is still plenty of late summer colour also; the salvia border is a treat, with swathes of red, pink, scarlet, true blue and royal purple, and a gorgeous, although clearly erratic, red-&-white bicolour called “Hotlips”. The Alpine House has tiny north African narcissi, glorious Sternbergias, and lovely bulbs from Australia and the Cape to whose internal calendar this is early spring… Outside the walled garden of Cambridge Cottage, where I work, a Lagerstroemia ten feet tall (see picture - that is not Kew's specimen but it looks very similar) is covered in shocking pink crinkle-flowers, their colour zinging against the red brick wall and the adjacent vermillion of a dwarf pomegranate in full flower. There are insects humming, the air is mild and fresh and the sun is warm, and robins are singing in the trees.

Only robins, though. The other songbirds have all become quiet, just in the last week or so. Autumn is definitely on its way.

Monday, 7 September 2009

Return to work after a week off...


Oh, that was a lovely break. Such peace, such quiet, in rural and unexciting Kent. How much one suddenly appreciates the quietness of a provincial town, which once seemed stiflingly dull, after four years plus of the smelly, preoccupied and traffic-laden hubbub that is west London.

For the last ten days I have been breathing clean air, listening to birdsong, walking in the countryside or by the coast, talking to my family (and to the cat), and sitting in the garden re-reading “Jane Eyre”. Bliss. I even did some sketching and a couple of watercolours. I wish I could attach them here but the lack of either a scanner or a digital camera (other than the one on my phone) is a problem here.

I have been sitting on the shingle at Greatstone, with a sky like blue enamel overhead, full of sandwich terns and tawny young herring gulls, swooping and shrieking, while the tide slowly comes in over miles of glittering wet sands; walking along the front at Broadstairs, where almost nothing seems to have changed in thirty years (& to my delight I found that although the Albion Bookshop has closed the wonderful Albion Second Hand Bookshop is still operating); gathering blackberries and bullaces on the Western Heights and then walking along the cliff top, on springy turf studded with harebells, wild thyme and marjoram.

There was time to sit and do nothing, flopped on the lawn under the old “Frau Dagmar Hartrop” rose (which despite its official status as a Single-flowering Old Rose was covered in a healthy second flush of cinnamon-scented shell-pink blooms). Time to read. Time to lie and blink in the sun, and daydream, dozing on the borders between thought and sleep, like a peaceful cat, only a cat with a cup of tea.

I read “Jane Eyre” and then followed that up with an excellent biography of Pierre Bonnard and then a John Wyndham, “The Chrysalids”, that I read as a teenager and haven’t re-read since. Not surprisingly, “Jane Eyre” stood up well to the rerun treatment. I had forgotten how much I love Jane – how completely I identify with her. Within the framework of a Victorian ideal, her relationship with Rochester is so much nearer to my own ideal than many a more modern one in fiction; their greatest bond is that of like-minded people enjoying and being stimulated by one another’s company, and although the physical attraction between them is made clear it is neither overstated nor made out to be the centre of their relationship. “The Chrysalids” suffered rather by comparison. In the first part, where the narrator is just a child, the directness of the storytelling works well, but once he is meant to be a lad of eighteen or nineteen he begins to seem a cipher. On the other hand, the depiction of a post-nuclear-holocaust world where society is run by religious extremists is far better done – more low-key, and both more disturbing and also far more real – than in many later uses of the same trope.

The Bonnard book simply made me want to paint. >sigh< If only there were more time in the day, and less rubbish having to be done with said time.