I did an online survey in my lunch break yesterday; for Boots The Chemists. I guess I was sucked-in by marketing; they offered to enter me into a draw for £200-worth of stuff from Boots, and I thought of all the contact lens fluid and antiperspirant I could get for £200... Yep, I got sucked-in.
And then they asked me this: "Did Boots staff do everything they could to make your visit to our Oxford Street Store enjoyable?"
The choices to answer were "Yes" and "No".
Now talk about "ask a silly question"; this is one of the silliest I've been asked in a long time. And I bet it has messed up their statistics. Don't the people who write surveys think about what they're putting down? Because the only logically correct answer to the question, as written, is "No".
The member of staff who served me was friendly and courteous, and efficient on a cash register. I don't ask more than that, so she was fine. She did everything I expected and she did it well, and with a smile. But did she do everything she could to make my visit enjoyable? Of course she bally well didn't!
Where was my free cup of tea? Heck, where was my free glass of Talisker? Where was my comfy armchair and fresh fruit salad? Where was my foot rub? My session in a flotation tank? I don't recall being presented with theatre tickets, or tickets to the opera or the ballet, or to a film premiere, either. Or being given a voucher for a free make-over including liposuction, a unique new treatment that reverses premature greying, and a couple of grand towards a new wardrobe. I didn't get a free pedicure or manicure or even some free nail polish. And I'm still waiting for my gift-wrapped Jeremy Renner.
I came out of the store with the items I'd gone in looking for; toothpaste, and a packet of sodium citrate. It's just plain silly to ask if the staff did everything they could to make that enjoyable.
I ticked "Yes", because I wasn't going to say "No" just because I didn't get the whiskey and the foot rub and the pedicure, and Mr Renner and a box at the opera... But I still think it was a very silly question.