...I made it out alive...
It's Friday and I made it to the end of this week, and now I have finished work for ten whole days - no, eleven, even. Yea! And at crack of dawn on Tuesday I go to Kefalonia for a week.
Before that I have three days to work my way through a stack of odd jobs. It looks like being a busy weekend. Tomorrow, hopefully I'm meeting up with some friends for tea, after one of those ridiculously cheering pre-holiday shopping expeditions for new walking sandals, sun lotion, insect repellant etc.
Sunday I want to have a proper, full-on Writing Day. I want to make some progress on "The Healers" and I also want to get the rest of my recent poems typed up. I probably won't post many more of those here for a while, though. The majority of them lately are about the odd feeling of falling for someone you thought was a friend, and realising the "It's just biology" trick isn't working anymore... But they're quite good in some cases, these poems, albeit lyrical and soppy; so I mean to keep them. Maybe publishable in twenty years or so; when I retire, yes, that sounds about right.
Monday I will be packing and stashing left-over food in the freezer, or taking it to the Dipgeek for her and the Lovely J to eat, and then I'll be getting two hours' sleep before catching a night bus to Victoria Station, and the train to Gatwick, and my flight...
It has been another hectic week at work; I wound up putting in almost 1 1/2 hours unpaid extra at the end of today sorting things out, in order to leave a reasonable state of affairs while I'm away. The constant barrage of irritating problems with the new system just slows everything down; and there are only the same number of hours in the day as there always have been. I am working flat-out, and I still can't keep up. I'm tired. But I have - I think I have - left a fairly clean desk.
On Wednesday we had a big meeting, all our section, to learn more about the staff restructure. In the event there still wasn't very much to learn about, as the details are yet to be hammered out. The overall new structure, which was presented on Wednesday, makes a lot of sense; but it isn't final and may change further. This is going to take a while, and the lack of certainty is pretty depressing. But then such things always are depressing. I now know that my role is affected, but not much more than that; it's all basically still speculation - "It's likely to be this or maybe more like that, but things may change".
So - well, okay. That's how it is. Nothing I can do but wait and see, give my input if/when asked for it, and do my best whatever happens. If what's been outlined to me as a possible scenario is what does finally happen, I'll be okay with that. But none of it is fixed, so I won't pin too many hopes on it just yet awhile.
Saw my crush on Thursday, and found to my relief that I could be around him, talk to him intelligently and reasonably sensibly, and enjoy his input and his company, without feeling heart-sore or making a fool of myself. And I don't think he has a clue what's going on in my head, which is also a relief (unless, of course, he's just a very good actor!). He's one of those people who restore your faith in human nature; so it would be a pretty rotten thing if I were to be a cause of embarrassment to him. I'm an old-fashioned enough Brit to think one should do right by those one respects; so not to cause a problem for this chap is important to me. Now I can let myself hope that in time we'll be able to be friends. Much the best outcome, if it can be so.
But anyway, now I am off work for a spell, and I can put everything behind me; walk away from the tiredness, from the wry sadness, from having had to crush feelings I had just begun to allow myself after seven years, and from the non-stop pace and general anxiety at work... And so I will go to Katelios, to swim, walk, read, do some writing, eat grilled fish and salad and drink good Greek wine, and have a rest.
I wish I could bestow a week in Greece on all my friends and everyone I work with. I see so many tired, stressed faces lately. It's a busy time of year at the best of times, and with the restructure and the uncertainty that brings, a lot of people at work are worried. Whilst among my non-work friends there are theses to be completed, weddings to be planned, houses to be sold, new jobs to be found, new digs to be settled into, bad break-ups to be got-over... Yes, stressful times for so many people at the moment.
I wish I could just pluck them all up and drop them down in my favourite places in Greece. Athens for the city-break buffs, Crete for the lovers of mountains and archeology, Thassos for the swimming nuts, the serious foodies and everyone who likes a bit of everything, Kefalonia for those who want a complete rest... I wish I could give Greece, the home of my heart, to everyone who would benefit from it.
If I am ever rich, maybe I will. Remind me, if I write a best-seller!